wHeN tHeRe’s NoThinG tO dO……

reverberating in my ears were my mom’s words of how painfull giving birth is….it played in my mind for nine months….finally i’m on the last week of pregnancy back in November2006, and here is my story…i knew that week was THE WEEK! and because my tummy is so heavy, i can’t wait to give birth…due to this frustration i decided to walk it out para nga daw bumaba na ang bata….i went to a nearby mall and strolled the whole day of November 15….true enough ang sabi ng mga matatanda…i was bleeding profusely the next morning….i went to the hospital and have myself checked…this is the first time i’ll be admitted….everything about that day was NOTHING BUT ORDINARY..being the kikay me….i found it so embarassing to wear the hospital gown……all the staff were women…so less ang kahihiyan diba…first i was asked to remove all my clothing and wear the gown….and naman….even if they were all women…mahihiya ka talaga…they’d ask you to open your legs every now and then….IE maya maya….and worst…enema….gosh!!!para ang lahat ng poise ko nag evaporate….pain came…slowly but surely…and when it came to a point where i would shiver everytime there is a contraction, i surrendered to the fact that i’d be dead after this….i kept on praying that i’d still be alive after this…but thanks to modern medicine…i was dozed off to sleep and when i woke up…..TADAH!!! NANGANAK NKO!!!…gone are the barbaric days of har labor when you’re shockingly awake and could see your own baby coming out…haay…salamat i’m alive….

huh!? it’s already been a year since i last posted something here?WOW!!!the last thing I was saying was that "2006 IS MY YEAR"….

well i guess it was….I met someone….and it was whirlwind romance…and now I have my own famiLy….it really was my year huh!?….the best thing that happened to me was becoming a MOM!!!

and in relation to that i have so much stories to tell…..

iT’s another year and I don’t understand why….but I just have this feeling that THIS IS MY YEAR!!!i feel like the universe has aligned itself to give me all the positive energy and vibes to go out and make things happen…….I can’t wait to get things working and started….i have so much plans in mind…and I can’t wait for the right time to get it done….whatever it is that’s giving me this feeling….keep it coming!!!!!

haayyy..its really an adVantage to be rich….something that i’m not…orchard is simply THE "cloud 9"of every shopaholics!!!almost every brand known to the fashion world is there…..thing is, i f you’re a peso earner it’ll be a pain in the pocket!!hehehehe….out of the hundred items i’d love to buy….i only owned one….a charles&keith thong sandals…well…window shopping was still fun!!!

a trip delayed for tHree years…..finally i’m at singapore….aNd its exactly the Way eveRyboDy desCribed it tO Be….VERY CLEAN AND ORGANIZED!!!wHen I get back….il Have more Details of My trip…for Now il Sleep coz I spent tHe wHoLe day At senTosa which Felt Like a new theme Park someWhEre in Subic sa Dami ng PiLipiNO

Just thought It would be niCe to Jot down what i liKe in a Man….cOz everytime im ask what i want…i just say…"kahit sino"…but actually hindi…. :-)outgoing….but I usually end up with the laid back, quiet and shy type of guy adventurous…..but my previous bf was a home buddy…hhhmmmm….lately i like chinese….(food ba ito!?)…..as what my friend Gwen describe them…"oriental beauty"…..chinese looking..half chinese….singkit…….tall….and most of my crushes are basketball players…but I never had a player bf…..hhmmmm….everything seems to be "inversely proportional"….what you want you don’t get….and the person you fall for or end up with is not the what your "i-like" lists describes….well i guess idealism doesn’t really matter at all when you’re in love….just a thought

I was so sleepy that I decided to take the cab from Paseo to MRT station…not thinking that I only have 500 peso bill and coins….as expected he had no change….and he really made my day….I asked the driver right away if he has change for my money…he then said  no, and I thought he’d drop me off right away….but the driver was so kind that he said he is still willing to take me to my destination WITHOUT ME PAYING!!!! how kind of him!!!!my total bill would have been around P40….I just gave the most I can from my coin purse which was about P20….i can barely believe it, that there are still drivers like him in the Metro…here in the city where majority is on a bottle neck financially…..i forgot to ask his name….whoever you are…MANONG SALAMAT PO! not for the 20 bucks discount but for the kindness you have shared!!!!!!sana dumami kayo manong

….you kept on walking but you never reached any destination….

….you kept on looking but you can’t see it through…..

….you kept on hoping when there’s nothing to hope for…..

….you kept on waiting when there’s nothing coming your way….

….you are whole but you’re empty….

….you have it all but you actually have nothing….

….you are in love but you love no one….

….you kept on climbing but you can’t reach the top…..

….you kept on praying but you don’t believe…..

….you kept on hearing but you can’t listen….

….you want to move on but there’s nothing to move forward to….

….you want to shout but you have nothing to scream for….

…..you try to find meaning but it really doesn’t make any sense…..

i have laugh always….and most of all i make people laugh

….but behind that….. there’s no happiness….

i stand strong….but deep inside i’m crippled…..

my eyes are sparkling……but in my heart i’m crying…..

it breaks me everyday……it heals then it bleeds again….

the cycle never stops…i wonder when will it cease…….

i wonder if it ever will….

…here’s another mushy stuff….a poem sent by my friend Aleck when i was really down…..

I choose to love you in silence

for in silence I receive no rejection…..

I choose to love you in loneliness

for in loneliness no one owns you but I……

I choose to adore you from a distance

for distance will shield us from pain…..

I choose to kiss you in the wind

for the wind is gentler than my lips…..

I choose to hold you in my dreams

for in my dreams you have no end…..

AUTHOR: UNKNOWN

*i guess not being with that person doesn’t mean you’ll have to stop loving him….it doesn’t have to end…..